Where My Peeps At?

Idaho is a red state. Really, really red. Like, blood red. Yesterday, I saw a bumper sticker that said, “Guns kill people like spoons made Rosie O’Donnell fat.”
Clever.
But not so funny because it reminds me that scary-ass right wing people are a dime a dozen out here.
So, it takes some doing to seek out the liberals. The blue peeps. However, I think I have cracked the code.
I started noticing a bumper sticker that said,
“Blue Girl. Red State.”
Yes!
These are my people!!
Now, mainly these Blue Girl stickers are in my neighborhood. It isn’t a coincidence that I happen to live in the only district in Idaho that voted for Obama in the last election. I chose wisely.
Sometimes, though, I come upon them in unexpected places. Like, out in the suburbs. Gasp! Like a little blue gift to brighten my day.
I have chosen to build my social circle around these stickers. The first thing I did was put one on my car. Gotta represent. Then, I started paying attention. I noticed one on a mom’s car at my daughter’s school. I then found out she was the Chairperson of the auction committee. Damn straight I am now Co-Chairperson of that committee.
I also noticed one on the car of a family at my son’s toddler basketball class. I am extra nice to that mom now and am working up to play date status with the kids.
You can’t be too careful around here. I have found that the red people are deceivingly sweet. I met a mom at a birthday party who seemed really nice. We exchanged emails and she sent me an invite to a home, direct sales party thing. It was home décor type stuff.
I decided to research the product and came upon this mission statement on the company’s website, “We are founded on solid Christian principles. We believe homes and everything related to them are God’s business. “
Um, I’m sorry, but…
What.
The.
Fuck?
No, I am not going to that shit and I also think that in the future you should be more upfront about your cult-like home business, lady. I watch TLC’s Sister Wives so I know what you people are really up to.
The Blue Girl stickers are invaluable. They are like messages from a secret society. We smile, we nod, maybe a little wave. It’s comforting knowing there are more of us out there.