Helicopter Parenting

The very first day we moved into our house in Boise, two neighborhood children came by to ask if my kids could come over to play. They said their mom noticed that kids were moving in and sent them down to our house. She thought it would give us a break so we could finish unloading the moving truck.
I immediately thought this was odd. Did this lady actually think I would just send my kids scampering down the street to her house on my first day in a new neighborhood without even laying eyes on her? Plus, how could I trust someone who would send her own kids to a stranger’s house? I was highly suspicious.
As the days passed, I noticed that the entire neighborhood was crawling with unattended children. I mean, they were everywhere! Riding bikes, playing at the school across the street, pulling each other in wagons, walking dogs, running lemonade stands all by themselves. It was summer time but this was ridiculous. There wasn’t a parent in sight!
To be honest, I don’t even know if our California neighborhood had other children. No one, and I mean no one, played outside unless it was in the back yard with a parent watching over them.
My daughter’s best friend in Idaho, however, lives right next door. Her parents completely let her roam the neighborhood unattended and she is wildly independent. We’ve nicknamed her Huck Finn. She is creative and outdoorsy and has taught my daughter all kinds of wonderful things like how to collect and press wildflowers or where to pick berries (that her Mom later turns into the best jam).
A few weeks ago the two of them had an impromptu garage sale on our front lawn. They spent all morning picking out toys to sell, making signs, and setting up all of their stuff. We live on a busy street and there is a ton of foot traffic in our neighborhood so they actually made some sales. At one point, they became bored and decided to go ride the tree swing in our backyard. My daughter stopped, “Wait, what about all of our stuff? We should take turns on the swing so that one of us is always out here to watch so no one steals anything.” Her friend said, “Really, you worry too much. This is a safe neighborhood. No one is going to steal our stuff.”
I think that is good advice for all of us.
Our kids actually did make friends with those kids we met on moving day. They are darling kids and they have attentive, loving parents who just happen to think that kids need to be able to run free. It took me a while, but I do let my 9 year old run down to their house now to see if they can play and she is allowed to just head home when she is done. Unless it is dark, then she has to call me first so I can step onto the porch and watch her walk home.
Recently, one of those kids was selling girl scout cookies and asked if my daughter could come along. I asked if her mom was going with them and she said, “No, I go by myself as long as I only go 5 blocks from my house in each direction.”
Umm, no. Wandering unattended, knocking on stranger’s doors still isn’t okay with me. So, I let my daughter go but I followed along.
I’m getting better but I can’t retire the helicopter completely.